Perfectionism & What's Holding YOU Back?

Last night I had a dream about writing a blog post. I had a dream that something had happened in my life and it was something I felt passionate about so I naturally felt the need to blog about it. Lol. It was so vivid and real that when I woke up this morning I had to think, wait, did that event really happen? But no, it hadn't. And yet here I am blogging anyway because, well, I've realized some things about myself. Things I already knew, but I think would be good for me to share in case it helps you too.

I am a perfectionist. But not in everything. In an ideal world, I guess my house would be perfectly clean and well-kept all the time. But in reality, that doesn't happen. I wait on washing dishes for several days at a time sometimes. Toys are constantly all over our living room (and it seems like the whole house). Laundry (clean and dirty) is piled in various places. You get the idea.

But I guess I mean that I am a perfectionist in things that I like doing or feel passionately about. So for example. I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago listing all the topics I want to cover, in the hopes that it would push me to blog more and also because I thought it would help me feel less overwhelmed.

It DID help me want to blog more (and I wrote a couple posts), but it did NOT help me feel less overwhelmed. In fact, I think it had the opposite effect. Instead of feeling inspired and motivated, I felt stuck. Almost like writer's block. I suddenly second-guessed everything I wanted to write about. After all, who am I to write on topics life NFP or sleep-training or weight loss? And what if I offend someone or make them not like me because of how I write something or what we choose to do?

So I was stuck. Which is why I haven't actually written on any of those topics yet lol. I was too worried about what other people might think. But why? Why does it matter? I'm not writing to be mean. I'm not intentionally going to be trying to hurt someone's feelings. I'm writing because I love writing. I'm writing because I'm passionate about life and what happens in it. I have strong feelings and opinions because I'm human.

And honestly, I'm not writing to change anyone's minds or tell you that you're wrong in how you choose to do something. I'm writing because writing helps me process things. I'm writing because maybe you'll be helped or encouraged or inspired by something I say. Maybe you'll just unfollow me. And that's okay too. I'm not writing for the "likes" or the "followers" or the popularity. I'm writing because I feel like I need to. Because writing builds me up. Because it makes me happy and able to be a better mom and wife. Because I'm an external processor and sometimes it helps me process things I couldn't otherwise process very well.

So, while I hope that you'll continue to follow me and read along and comment, that's not my goal. This blog is for MY thoughts and perspectives on life as a wife and mother. I can't write about or speak to things I haven't experienced yet or perhaps never will experience. But I CAN write on what I know or have experienced in my life. And I hope you'll like what I write, but if not, then find someone else who inspires you; find someone who gives you life and helps you to feel confident in your choices and decisions.

I'm done being a perfectionist on my blog with the topics I write about. I'm done stressing about "getting it right" or being worried about someone being hurt by what I say.

This month is NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, and while I'm not a novelist by any means and this blog is not a novel (even if it may feel like that sometimes with my wordiness :P ), I want to take this month to intentionally write more. To write a minimum of 3x a week. (Start small and increase as you can, right?). I'd love to write more but we'll see what happens with the flow of life. 

I guess that's it for now. I was never very good at intros or conclusions or titles in my English classes. I love grammar though, so I guess I have that going for me. But the rest may be a struggle as we go along lol.

But think about what's holding you back? Are you a perfectionist too? Are you worried what other's think? Maybe you think you don't have time to do something. What can you change to make time? We are capable of so much. We just have to figure out what's holding us back and let go of it!

Rachel Hollis, the author of Girl, Wash Your Face (one of my upcoming topics!!), has so much to say and letting go of fear and letting go of what others think of you, so I'll just leave you with a few more screenshots of some of my favorite quotes from her (and her instagram page ;) )

You Might be a Mom If... Part 2

You might be a mom if...

... Losing the binky/pacifier/nook/special blanket, etc. is the equivalent of losing your mind. 

... You hear phantom crying when your baby is sound asleep.

...You actually enjoy sucking boogers out of your kids' noses with those bulb syringe things or nose fridas.

...Playdates are actually more for you to get socialization time and less for your kids to play with other kids. 

...You have clothes in your closet ranging in size from 4-16 (or some other crazy variance) because at some point in your life, you've worn all of those sizes!

...Your daughter has a better sense of style than you do because, hello cute clothes & addictive sales.

...You can't sleep in total silence anymore because you're too used to hearing the noise machines on in the background.

...You drink way more caffeine than you used to.

...You stay up late or wake up early just to get some "me time."


That's it for tonight's edition of "You Might Be A Mom If...."! But I'll keep writing them down as they come to me for another future post. Part 1 can be found HERE!

A Weekend Getaway

It's funny to see how different a weekend getaway three years into marriage is compared to a honeymoon as newlyweds. (Also, I should clarify that for us, with Mickey's job schedule, our "weekends" are Mondays and Tuesdays lol).

The day after our wedding, we left for a 10 day trip to Florida, the Bahamas, and Disney. We both love road trips so we had decided to drive. We drove halfway the first day and the rest on the second day. Then we spent a few days in a house a few blocks from the beach in Cocoa Beach, FL. Then we went on a 3-day, 2-night cruise to the Bahamas (BEST EVER). Then we spent a night in Disney and went to the Magic Kingdom Park, and then we drove back home in two days.

Cocoa Beach, FL

This was in July 2015, so three years ago! Since then, Joel-Michael and I have done overnights together to Pittsburgh, Columbus, Cleveland, and a few bigger road trips. Some of our adventures have been with kids and some without. While I love spending time as a family, sometimes you just need a break from your kids and time to reconnect with your spouse.

That's how I was starting to feel most recently. Damien just turned one a few days ago on the 25th, and my birthday was the 29th. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned to Mickey that rather than an actual birthday present, I thought it would be more fun to go away for a night, or better yet, two nights! It had been over a year since we had gone away without kids. Not because we didn't want to go, but mostly because Damien wouldn't take a bottle until he was about 9 1/2 or 10 months old. And even then, he was still nursing in the mornings until just last month. So I felt stuck and unable to actually leave him much before now.

BUT, since he stopped nursing a month ago, and has been sleeping really well, I knew it was time to get away. We really needed the time to reconnect as adults, as parents, as best friends, as husband and wife - ALONE. Away from our wonderful, amazing, and super tiring children. haha.

Adorable Children

And so we planned it! We're actually on it now. So why am I writing a blog post, you ask, instead of spending all the time with my amazing husband? Well, to be honest, because even in a marriage, alone time is necessary and also beneficial. :)

Back when we were on our honeymoon, I remember there being a point where I was feeling overwhelmed and kind of emotional and I wasn't really sure why! After all, I was finally married and with my best friend and we finally didn't have to be apart and say goodbye each night! And yet....it was a big change compared to my life before getting married. I used to always have some sort of built-in alone time. I slept alone. I got dressed alone. I brushed my teeth and used the bathroom alone. And now I was just supposed to.....share? With someone I knew, yes, but not like that! lol.

So after some crying and confusion as to why I felt this way, we realized that I (and he) needed some time apart - even on our honeymoon. It seems counter-intuitive, but that's what we needed. So I took some time to sit in the bedroom and journal and think and just be by myself. And I'm pretty sure he watched TV in the living room. haha. But that's what we needed to recharge and be ready for life again. ;) I know this might not be the case for everyone, with all the different personalities and situations, but that's what we needed.

Fast forward to today - Joel-Michael and I dropped the kids off @ 12:30pm yesterday with grandparents, and left for Robinson for 2 nights, only 30 minutes away from where we live, but hey it was not in town so that was good enough for us!

Yesterday we had a great time - we checked into our hotel, took a super long (uninterrupted by kids) nap, went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday, went back to the hotel, exercised, jumped in the pool, and then spontaneously went to a late showing of First Man.

All Dressed Up! :) 

Cheesecake Factory for my Birthday <3

And so far today, we've eaten breakfast, gone back to sleep, gone out for super yummy donuts (Peace, Love, and Little Donuts = the BOMB) and lunch @ Moe's. Then we went over to Barnes and Noble, which is where I'm currently sitting and typing. I love books and I love reading. Joel-Michael, on the other hand, likes reading, but not as much as I do. So he looked through the board games and puzzles and things like that.

Super Yummy Donuts!

Then we sat down to decide what to do next. I was feeling indecisive about buying a book to read. He had mentioned wanting to see a movie (one that I have zero interest in lol). Both of us were tired but not really wanting to sleep. I don't know exactly how to describe it, other than I felt like I couldn't make a decision partially because I knew that at this moment, we didn't necessarily want to do what the other person wanted to do/we were both feeling indecisive.

And this is where it differs from our honeymoon. Lol. I told him I thought he shoudl walk down and go see the movie, and I would stay here and read or maybe drive over to another store and do some shopping or possibly go back to the hotel. I still really don't know what I plan to do, but I just figured maybe we each needed some time to ourselves to recharge.

It's only been about 30 minutes, but I'm already feeling more energized haha. I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but alone time is sometimes the best time ever. Especially when there are constantly small children needing something.

Plus, he has been so great about making this trip all about me and what I want to do because it's my birthday trip, and I really appreciate that. He's the best. Really the best. And I'm so grateful for family to watch our kids and give us this time away.

So I guess this long post doesn't have a huge point, other than I was reflecting on the differences between us 3 years ago and us now. Some things have changed and some things have not. But overall, everything has been great and I can't wait to see how different (or the same) we are in the next 50 years!

My Best Friend & Me :)

5 Quick Takes: An Outline of My Thoughts

I've been dying to write on here for a while now. Heck, I even have several posts that I started and then saved as drafts. I love writing but I just have so much on my mind these days and so much I could talk about that I feel a bit overwhelmed and don't know where to start!

So, how about a quick list of what's on my mind to write about, and hopefully I'll get some longer posts out later this month! (Or this week if I'm lucky ;) ).

1) Books. I absolutely LOVE reading but it's been so long since I've made time to do it. But I'm loving getting back into it.  Specifically, I have been reading two books that have revolutionized my view on life - for the better! I'm so excited to share them with you *hint - the book titles are One Beautiful Dream + Girl, Wash Your Face - so freaking good. 

2) NFP + Humanae Vitae + Being Catholic + Discernment. SO much to unpack with those few words lol. I've just been doing a lot of reading and thinking on these subjects recently and I can't wait to chat about them.

3) Photography. I LOVE taking pictures and I even enjoy the editing process, but I have found myself putting off the editing parts, even though I'm excited. However, this month I finally knocked out several projects and forced myself to sit down at the computer just to get back into it and it's been great. I'm more motivated now and I've been using my camera a lot more regularly in the last 2 weeks. 

4) Pregnancy + Postpartum + Weight Gain/Loss + Eating Habits + The STRUGGLE IS REAL. There is so much I could say on these topics so you're guaranteed at least one post on them in the near future haha. 

5) Sleep Training + Nursing + Parenting Choices + more. There are so many choices and options and decisions we make as parents, as moms in particular. And most of them aren't right or wrong - they're simply what we prefer and/or think will be best for our child(ren). I'd like to share with you some of the choices we made and why it works for us. And I also want to encourage you in your own decisions - I hate how much judgment there is out there on moms.

Okay, so that's all that comes to mind off the top of my head, but odds are high that when I hit publish, millions more will pop into my head. I suppose this was mostly rambling but consider it a preview of what I hope to discuss! And maybe it'll serve as an outline for my crazy brain that can't seem to just stop and breath long enough for me to pick just one topic haha. 

A Tribute To My Grandfather

My grandpa passed away this morning. It wasn't unexpected; we knew it would happen soon, but I'm not sure that that makes it any less sad. He was 89 years old. I know he is happy to be in heaven and finally united with Jesus and reunited with my grandma, his wife. This Easter will be his best one yet because he gets to spend it with Jesus. I don't know if he went to purgatory first or straight to heaven, but I can't imagine Jesus will have him in purgatory very long if he did. My grandpa suffered a lot off and on over the past few years with pain and trouble sleeping. And I'm sure Jesus used his pain and suffering to make him an even holier person.

He was an incredible person. No matter how hard things were or what he was going through, he was always trying to be closer to Jesus. When I was talking with him a few weeks ago, he told me he didn't know how Jesus suffered everything that he did, but he was trying to unite his sufferings with those of Christ. We prayed a decade of the rosary with him and since it was a Friday, we did the Agony in the Garden. How appropriate.

I have so many memories of my grandpa, and I would like to use this space to share some of them with you.

My grandpa laughed a lot. He would laugh so hard he cried and had trouble breathing. I like to think I got that trait from him. He would carry these livesaver mints around in his pockets and all the grandkids would beg him for a "secret" because that's what someone started calling them and it stuck.

Starting in 1998, my mom and her siblings tried to have family reunions every 2 years, where we would rent a big house and spend time together. And every year for Thanksgiving my grandpa would host the big meal at his house. My aunts and uncles and cousins would come in town (whoever could make it that year) and we would set up extra tables and chairs and eat SO much good food. I will always think of him at Thanksgiving. When we were younger, all of us little kids would crawl around pretending to be puppies, barking and being loud. And then when the adults and older cousins needed a break we would go downstairs and watch movies in his basement.

Many of my cousins and aunts and uncles at our first family reunion

He had a pool table in the basement also and we would bug the older cousins when they were using it. I remember him starting fires in his wood stove. He had this great (electric?) train set up on a big table downstairs. He would decorate all the little houses and around the tracks with pretend snow and it looked magical.

For a long time my grandpa held season tickets to the Pittsburgh Pirates Baseball Team. He would take one or two of us with him to the games and we would eat hot dogs and huge ice cream cones. He taught me everything I know about baseball - and I'm not much of a sports person, but I know SO much about baseball. We would buy score cards and he would help me fill them out. I think they'll always be my favorite team because of that. If I'm being honest, I really just went for the food, but it was always a great time.

For Christmas, every year, my grandpa would come over for dinner or whatever meal we were doing as a family, but then on a different day that week, we would bring Christmas cookies and go over to his house to open the gifts he had bought for us. He had lots of grandchildren and I don't know how he kept track of it all, but somehow he never repeated a gift (at least that I know of)! He had these religious catalogs and he would order gifts for all of his grandkids and children. When I was little, getting a religious gift was not as exciting as the toys my parents got us, but the older I got the more I appreciated the spiritual books and Christian CD's.

My grandpa was a deacon and I remember seeing him serving at Sunday masses or masses with the Bishop many times over the years. He also used to do prison ministry and visit the prisoners every Tuesday night for many years. He was amazing.

My grandma died of cancer when I was little, I think I was only one at the time. I'm 25 now and he has lived all these years without her, missing her, but he didn't let depression and sadness get him down; he still lived the best life he could. I am so happy that he gets to be with her now. My middle name is Marie, which was her name, and I know she was just as amazing as my grandpa.

Look how cute they were together!

I am so grateful for all the time I was able to have with my grandpa. I'm grateful he was able to be at our wedding, at Monica's baptism, and living with my parents when he met Damien. I am so glad that he will be up in heaven with my grandma, praying for all of us, loving Jesus, and not suffering anymore. Grandpa, you will be missed, but your legacy and your Irish heritage lives on with all of us! Thank you for your life and your example. We love you!

A Fantastic Friday: 7 Reasons Why

Today has honestly been the best day I have had since Damien was born. As a mom there are lots of bad or hard days, but there are also good days. Sometimes it can seem like the bad days happen more often or last longer. But in reality there are plenty of good days too. So in honor of today being so great, I decided to blog about it to help me remember in the hard moments that there are moments like today!


7 Reasons Why Today was Awesome!

1) Damien slept in his swing all night long and only woke up once in the middle of the night to eat, in spite of having a cold (the night before he was so upset he wouldn't sleep in his swing and slept/nursed with me all night).

2) Monica woke up happy from both her night sleep and her nap today (she's been grumpy or crying the past few days for some reason)

3) We went to the Montessori class that the kids attend and had a great time! Both kids behaved amazingly and I survived my first time taking both kids to the class (Damien wasn't born yet the last time he went ;))

4) Damien took (well is taking his 4th as I type) FOUR 1-HOUR naps IN HIS SWING on his OWN. This might be the best part about today. Up until now he's been taking 30 minute naps maximum with random longer or shorter naps. And usually anything longer than 30 minutes has been because someone is holding him. So I'm not sure what has changed but I'll take this any and every day!! Definitely makes me see how people can have multiple children without completely loosing their minds haha. Oh and it only took me 3-5 minutes to rock him to sleep each time. For a non-sleep trained baby (yet), I'll take it!

5) I managed to get in a shower and breakfast before leaving the house this morning (without the house falling apart haha), which always makes me feel refreshed and ready to tackle the day.

6) Part of Monica's afternoon nap and one of Damien's naps overlapped with one another so I was able to find time to pray and also make a few phone calls.

7) I could probably come up with plenty more reasons for why today was great, but I'll just end with this one. Joel-Michael watched the kids for a little bit so I could run an errand that has needed to get done today and he has been incredibly patient and loving with Monica and Damien all day. I love him so much - he's the best dad they could have :)

I hope your Friday is going well today, but if not, just remember that not every day will be hard - there will be good ones too!

Rambling Wednesdays + An Intro

So as I sit down to write this, I'm not even really sure what this post is going to be about. All I know is that I need to write. Writing is something that I love and used to do all the time but somehow in the past few years it's faded away and grown nearly obscure, except for journaling, and somehow even that is very limited. But I love writing and I think I need writing. I had a realization the other day about a few things going on in my life and I only really discovered it and was able to put into words how I was feeling by writing my feelings out! It seems silly maybe because so often when we're in high school and college we talk about how we have to go and write a paper and how terrible that is, but outside of boring academic papers, I enjoy writing. When I was in high school my friends and I would write and trade our stories with one another to edit and critique them. And honestly, even writing your stereotypical "boring" academic paper was relatively interesting to me.

As I said when I started, I'm really not sure what this post will be about but I do think I've decided on my post title: "Rambling Wednesdays" or now that I'm writing it out and thinking more, "Wordy Wednesdays." Lol. By the time you read this you'll know what I settled on.

Anyway, I suppose I feel like I've been gone from my blog for such a long time (I have only written 2 posts in the last 4-5 months and then it was a year before that!), that I feel like I should do an introduction or re-introduction of some type. So here goes!

As I hope you already know, my name is Bernadette Recznik, and I am married to my childhood sweetheart, Joel-Michael Recznik, hence the name of my blog "Becoming Mrs. Recznik." My husband calls me Bernadette or Babe or Sexy, but nearly everyone else calls me Bern or Minnie. Minnie, you ask? Let me explain. My husband's nickname is Mickey, which nearly everyone calls him and is less confusing for people who seem to think his real name is Joel. It isn't. He has two first names but I really don't know why that's so complicated! But I digress. Because his nickname is Mickey and he already has a sister named Bernadette, his family nicknamed me "Minnie" in order to help with the confusion of who you're addressing (with limited success lol but hey at least I have a fun nickname!).

I told you it would be a rambling post so why should my intro be any different? Lol. Continuing on, we have two small children, a girl and a boy, and before you ask, no, we're not done having kids; we're just getting started we hope!

Monica was born in May of 2016 and is currently 21 months old. She keeps us on our toes with all the new and exciting things she learns every day. She repeats EVERYTHING we say so we have to be especially careful when we're talking around her because she's the smartest little kid I've ever met. She is also funny and kind and stubborn (boy is she stubborn! Definitely our child ha ha).

Damien will be four months on Sunday and was born in October of 2017. He was an extremely fussy and picky baby (the complete opposite of Monica) and has only just turned a corner in life over the past month in becoming a relatively normal, non-super-awful-fussy child.

A few more facts about us before I let you have your free time back to do whatever it is you were doing before you stumbled across my little blog post.

My husband is a police officer where we live and he LOVES it. It is his dream job and I am so happy he is finally doing it, but more on that another time. I am crazy, madly in love with him and think he is the hottest man I know, which works out well for me because he thinks I'm the hottest woman he knows. #winning #i'llkeephim We have been married since July 4, 2015, which makes it three years this July. Time flies!

I am a stay at home mom with our babies, and while I LOVE not working, or rather not working at a job outside the home where I get paid (I miss getting paid haha), motherhood is not easy all the time. It is hard and painful and sad, but it is also fun and amazing and the best thing ever. LOTS more to come on the subject of motherhood in the future. In addition to being a stay at home mom, I have a photography business on the side: a) because I love photography b) because I love making money and c) I've always wanted to be my own boss and being able to make my own schedule works out quite well.

Let me think......Oh, we bought our first house this past May (2017) and we do random projects and updates as often as we can afford to! We redid the bathroom very soon after moving in and it's now my favorite room in the house. Not even joking.

I think my brain is slowing down for the evening because I just got distracted by a text message and I'm not totally sure what else I was going to add to this post! So I'll be signing out for the night, but hopefully not for as long as I previously have lol. Here's to hoping for at least a weekly monthly blog post.